I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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