i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
PANTIES FOUND
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
