I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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