I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Randomize
