I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
