the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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