brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
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