i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
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