im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Someone signed my nipple.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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