he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
