Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Is that strawberry winking at me??
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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