I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize