She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
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