You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Thank you for holding my vodka while the police let me ride their horse.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
