a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
