check it out our google latitudes are spooning
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
