I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize
