please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
And for some reason I just want to have sex with EVERYTHING
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
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