i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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