This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I just threw up on my dentist
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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