What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Randomize
