She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
