Don't you send me to vm
You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Randomize
