My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
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