I'm really into asian looking animals
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
