smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize