So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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