Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize