We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize