i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
