he thought i was a dude.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize