Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
