Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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