i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
