If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Randomize
