i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
