Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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