Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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