I just made out with a guy for $7.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
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