We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
