Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
