this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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