C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
So my Christmas cards this year will be my mug shot with my kids face photo shopped next to me....too ghetto?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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