Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
Went to the doctors. She saw my " I love beer" tattoo. All she said was " My drunken tat is of just one word. "Cornnuts.". Then said Mexico was "awesome." And sent me on my way. Yeah. She's my favorite doctor.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Randomize
