chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
