I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Randomize
