just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
