So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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