Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
