I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
