Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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