it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
