Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
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