i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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