You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
