I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
