3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Randomize
