bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Got laid at work. Yes, AT work, why they let me run this tennis center by myself speaks to their poor judge of character.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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