Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
This baby is an asshole
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Randomize
