Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
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