the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
